“What is it that matters to you the most?”  Renee asked the question with a discerning look, and a clinical eye!  In the moment I struggled to answer the question. Time went by and the question was raised yet again. Just as surely, I failed to provide a coherent response. It was troubling for me.

As I sit here typing these words, I feel safe. For me, at this moment, I’m fearless. All is well. In this moment I’m seated in a comfortable chair in the front room. Renee is quietly typing on her laptop. There is a large empty chair to my right, and Shadow is sleeping on the yonder sofa.  We don’t need watch dogs and security fences. The doors are unlocked. We intrinsically know that people respect us, and those who can go there find respect in themselves. “What is it that matters to you the most?”  In this moment my answer is Safety; to me, this is what matters most. I’m grateful for the safety that Renee has cultivated in this sacred space. Safety is fundamental.

Stane Holman

Fifty-Two-year-old, stay at home dad, philosopher, and recovering narcissist.

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