I’m a 54 year old white male. My wife and I are in the process of divorce. We jointly decided to pursue separate love interests and try new things. It is a clean separation and our current situation could be described as amicable. I’m honored to say that I have three adult children who continue to amaze me on a daily basis. The eldest (from a previous relationship) resides in Australia, while the younger siblings live in the Pacific Northwest, having not strayed very far from their childhood home.
I have a solemn demeanor, and an intimidating aura. People in crowds instinctively give me a wide berth. They treat me with caution, as if I have just been released from prison. Throughout life I could scrape my way out of any situation. Even the surliest of men step aside as I easily glide through all kinds of scenarios. I’m no superhero, but I’m treated like one. I’m privileged in that regard. I come off as being a little intense, but on the inside I’m very kind. I grapple with my entitlement because It’s hard coming to grips with my privilege in a world filled with so much suffering.
In my younger days I was confused and misguided. Because of my assumptions and generalizations, I thought the world owed me something. I had grown accustomed to being given everything; even without asking. I held expectations that other people keep me entertained, while getting aggravated if things didn’t go my way. I expected people to read my mind, because it would annoy me when asked to explain myself. No one has ever made me feel less than because they unknowingly lend me their power.
This is a glimpse into the mind of a true Narcissist because I am one of the most privileged men you will ever meet, and I have the capacity to be a real jerk. These are the conclusions I’ve come to after years of careful introspection. I’m currently holding kindness as my core value and it’s been working for me. Today I realize that I’m not the man I once was. Moreover, I’m optimistic about the man I’m becoming. My primary objective is to be a good role model, meaning I seek justice while encouraging fair play.